


Reasons

by dreamsonfire



Category: Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 16:49:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1096268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsonfire/pseuds/dreamsonfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clover tries to take control over something in her own life for once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reasons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RaspberryHeaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaspberryHeaven/gifts).



Clover had been prepared for a lot of things as she entered the SOIS headquarters for the third time in her life -- she'd agreed to work for a secret government organization, after all -- and yet she still managed to be caught completely by surprise within seconds of stepping through the doors. 

She'd almost thought she'd walked into the wrong building for a moment when a guy dressed like some kind of cosplay character rushed past her, only to be followed by two others dressed in a similarly bizarre fashion. But it was definitely the same place she'd visited those few other times she'd been here. She recognized the building by now.

She stood in place, watching as the three disappeared through a door at the other end of the hallway. "Uh..."

"What is it?" Light asked, pausing when he realized she'd stopped.

She shook her head. She didn't even know how to explain. "Nevermind. Let's go."

They didn't end up having to wait long after arriving before Alice appeared to greet them. Yet her confusion only grew when Alice strolled into the room. Alice wore an outfit that almost seemed familiar -- a pretty fashionable dress that Clover wouldn't have minded owning herself -- but definitely out of place for what she'd expected of a secret government agency.

Clover leaned towards her brother to whisper as Alice made her way over towards them. "Light, I think we've passed into some parallel dimension." It wasn't even that implausible of a theory, although she'd meant it as a joke. Mostly.

"What?"

But Alice was standing in front of them before she could explain, and Clover stood up to shake her hand.

"Thank you for coming," Alice said to them, before leading them to her office.

 

"For the first few weeks, we'll work on testing and amplifying your esper abilities, and then we'll bring the more technical skills and other knowledge you'll need into it later," Alice said. She pulled out a folder from her desk and handed her several pages from it. "This is just a general idea of our training timetable. We adjust based on each individual's skills and progress, of course." She continued, pulling out more documents as she spoke, going over everything else they would need to know: all the details about everything they would learn and be expected to do. The whole thing took the greater part of the afternoon.

When she was finished, Alice leaned back in her chair. "So... what do you think?"

Clover glanced up at her from the document she'd been skimming -- Alice had already thoroughly explained most of the stuff they'd need to know, and she'd already decided she'd just ask Light about the details later if she needed to. Alice had even made sure to prepare copies of everything in Braille for him -- which he seemed to be reading more thoroughly than she had, she noticed when she glanced sideways at him.

"I already said I'd do it, didn't I?" she said, looking back to Alice.

"I know," Alice said, folding her hands together. "But I'm giving you one more chance to make your decision. This is a very important choice you're making here, and I don't want you to regret it. I won't ask you again after this."

This was her last chance to get out of there, she thought. Go home and finally try to get away from all of this.

_"We've discovered that the people behind the first Nonary Game might have something to do with the terrorist organization we're after. Isn't that something you'd like to know more about?"_

_"You guys are the only people who can do this. Please. Just do me a favour, and help Alice out."_

She was tired of this hanging over her head and coming back to haunt her over and over again. She was done running from it. She'd already come this far. And this time, she was the one choosing to get involved.

"Yeah," Clover said firmly, meeting Alice's eyes. "I'm sure. What about you, Light?"

"I said I'd go along with whatever you wanted to do, didn't I?" There was more to his decision than that, she knew -- she remembered the look that had crossed his face after they'd both spoken to Seven. There was something big going on, that might even be connected to them in some way -- and they both wanted to know more about it.

"I guess that settles it," Alice said, gathering up some more documents from her desk. "We have some more paperwork for you to fill out, and then tomorrow we'll give you a tour, along with everything else you'll need while you're here with us. Do you have any other questions?"

"Yeah. So what's up with the...?" She gestured to Alice's outfit.

"Oh, I didn't mention this part of the job yet, did I?" Alice asked, reaching up to brush some of her hair back over her shoulder. "I already told you about all the potential dangers of this kind of work, but we like to take extra precautions. It's hard to believe I'm a secret agent wearing something like this, right?"

"I guess you've got a point," Clover said. 

"It would be in your best interests to come up with something similar, too. It's not just for personal safety -- it helps mask our operations and the location of our headquarters."

 

She hadn't given much thought to that last particular bit of their conversation over the next couple days -- she had enough other details to preoccupy her thoughts after all, now that they were officially a part of SOIS. But she still couldn't stop herself from impulsively dragging her brother into a costume shop that caught her eye one day on their way home.

"... Is this really necessary?" Light asked again while she was busy digging through a rack of clothing, and when she glanced back over her shoulder, she saw him frowning at her.

"Of course it is, Light. Alice said we have to look the part, right? And that includes appearing as unsuspicious as possible."

"I would presume a normal outfit would work just as well towards not drawing suspicion..."

"No way. That would be totally obvious." She pulled something off the rack and whirled around, holding it up in front of Light to judge how it would look on him. She just barely held back a laugh at the sight. "See, nobody would believe it if you were wearing something like this." 

He reached up to brush the feathers away from his face. "I suppose I should be grateful I can't see what it is you're trying to inflict on me."

She grinned as she pushed it into his hands. "Go on, try it on."

He frowned, fingers tracing over the costume. His hand paused when it reached the patch of sequins trailed across the front. "... No, thank you. I think I'll stick to something a little more subdued."

"Suit yourself."

"Are you planning on getting something?"

"Me? Oh, well... um..." She hadn't really thought about it too much yet. Her thoughts drifted back to Alice as her fingers skimmed the line of clothes. "Hm..."

"If you can't think of anything, perhaps you should try the monstrosity you just tried to force on me."

"You wish, Light."

\---

"You've been doing very well," a voice said from behind her, and Clover wheeled her chair around in surprise.

"Alice!" she said. "Oh, um... y-you think so? Honestly, I didn't think I'd be cut out for this kind of thing..." She laughed a little, glancing back down at the papers on the desk behind her: photos and messages she'd been transmitting to Light, who was located in another nearby building. Eventually they were supposed to move on to transmitting even more advanced concepts over even greater distances. A part of her couldn't even really believe they'd accomplished this much already. They'd never tried using their powers after that first time they'd been kidnapped, and she'd tried to block everything about the experience from her memory. Eventually she'd stopped thinking about it, and the more time passed, the more it'd almost seemed like a bad dream than anything, only lingering at the edges of her memories. She'd almost been afraid to try using her powers again -- what if it just didn't work anymore, after all this time? -- and she wasn't entirely sure whether that fear had been because she would've been relieved or disappointed to find out. She still wasn't entirely sure how she felt about it. 

_This is the entire reason any of this ever happened to us to begin with..._

It was that thought that had passed through her mind just before she finally decided to accept Alice's offer.

"I'd say you're almost ready for your first mission soon," Alice said. "Perhaps even within a month or two."

"No way!" Clover laughed, and then realized it wasn't a joke. "Wait, you're serious?"

"Of course I am. You've been very successful with all your esper training. The other stuff might need some more work, but given how hard you've been working, I'm sure you'll be ready in no time. Honestly... I'm almost a little surprised."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

"Sorry -- I didn't mean it that way," Alice said. "Your progress has been very impressive so far." She seemed to consider adding something else, expression turning pensive -- but whatever it was, she didn't voice it. 

They lapsed into silence for a moment, and it was only then that she realized that this was the first time she'd really had a chance to talk to Alice since she'd first started her training. Her training _did_ take up the majority of her time -- but even aside from that, she couldn't remember ever not seeing Alice busy with seemingly a dozen things at once even when they did run into each other. Even now, Alice had several folders tucked under her arm.

"So?" Clover prompted. "You didn't come here just to tell me that, did you?"

"No, you're right," Alice said. "I wasn't sure if I should interrupt you or not, but I thought maybe you'd lost track of the time." She nodded towards the clock on the wall, and Clover blinked at it for a second. 

"Oh! You're right... It's later than I thought. Guess I was just so focused I didn't even notice." Clover stretched her arms above her head for a moment before jumping to her feet and following Alice out of the room. 

"You work pretty late usually, huh?" Clover said. "You always seem so busy, too. Must be pretty tough." 

Alice seemed to think that over, and now that Clover got a closer look at her face, she seemed exhausted. "I've never really thought of it that way, but I guess you're right." 

"You seem pretty dedicated..." 

Alice glanced sideways at her for a second. "Yes... I've spent the greater part of my life working towards this. I plan to bring an end to the Myrmidons and Free the Soul's operations no matter what it takes." Her grip on the folders in her hand tightened fractionally. An odd heaviness crossed her face for just a moment before it disappeared and she turned to smile at her. "Now that we have you and the other espers working with us, we might be a little closer to that goal." 

It was hard to imagine -- even now that Clover had joined, the number of espers among the SOIS agents wasn't especially impressive. She had trouble herself believing there was something _she_ could do to help stop an entire terrorist organization. And yet... 

The two of them split off as Clover left to make her way home. Alice had said before she left that she wouldn't be working much later tonight when Clover asked her about it, but Clover had her doubts. 

The memory of that momentary heavy look that had passed over Alice's face stuck with her for the rest of the night. She wondered what could have caused it.

\---

Their limited interactions continued over the next couple weeks -- but rather than dissuade her, Clover found herself wanting more and more to get to know Alice better instead. There were only so many chances to do so in between her training though. So the next time she got a opportunity to catch Alice with a moment of free time, she finally just gave in and invited her out. 

"We should do something together outside of work, you know? Oh! You should come and listen to my brother play some time. He's really, really good! I told you he plays the harp, right?" 

"Yes, I remember," Alice replied, looking up from the paper she'd been glancing over and smiling at her. "That sounds like a good idea." 

She didn't realize she'd mostly been expecting the offer to be rejected until she felt the sudden burst of excitement at how quickly Alice had agreed to the idea. 

It was only a few days later when Clover managed to drag her to the coffee shop her brother was performing for that weekend.

"I told you he was good, didn't I?" Clover said as the first song ended, having to leaned over towards Alice to be heard over some of Light's more overzealous fans. "But then there's the weird crowd he draws..." she added, making a face. 

"I guess that's the downside to being a musician," Alice commented. 

They fell into silence during the next couple songs, making conversation in between -- but at some point during the night Alice had become oddly pensive.

Clover frowned after noticing it for the third time in the span of a half hour, and the fourth time she noticed she leaned over and poked her in the arm.

"Hey, Alice... Something up?"

Alice seemed to come out of whatever reverie she'd fallen into again. "No, no," she assured her, waving her hand absently. "I'm sorry, Clover. I guess it's been longer than I thought since I've done something like this. I keep thinking of things I need to do tomorrow, people I need to contact..." She shook her head. "It's harder to take my mind off it than I thought."

"Hm... then I'll just have to try harder to distract you, right?" 

Alice looked up at her for a moment in surprise before she laughed unexpectedly. "All right, sure. Go ahead." 

"Um... well --" She struggled for a second, almost feeling put on the spot. "Oh! Okay -- I'll show you something my brother taught me." 

 

After that, they'd started to meet up more often over the following weeks, until it was almost a routine. Aside from that first time, Alice hadn't gotten distracted by other things during the time they spent together, to Clover's relief. And maybe that was why she had been so caught by surprise at the question Alice abruptly asked on one of those occasions. 

"Do you regret joining us?" Alice's voice was quiet, and for a second Clover wondered if she'd misheard.

"... Huh? What do you mean?"

"I know you didn't want to do this initially. If we'd had any other options, I wouldn't have resorted to dragging you into this. That's what I was getting at before, I guess -- I wasn't sure you'd be willing to put so much effort into this even if we did manage to recruit you."

"Well, hey -- it wasn't like we were gonna sign up just to do a half-assed job. And besides..." She frowned, biting down on her straw, considering how to put her thoughts into words. "I thought this might finally give me some answers, you know? Like... it's just kind of been this big thing that's been following me around my whole life and won't leave me alone. Like I can't escape it no matter how much I keep trying to. So once this is all over, I might finally be able to move on from all of this... That's kind of how I thought anyway." She paused, lowering her voice. "And, well... if there's really somebody planning a viral pandemic, and there's something I can do to stop it..."

"I see," Alice said. She nodded, but something about the action almost seemed absentminded. "I think I understand."

"So... how did you get involved with all this, Alice?"

"Me?" Alice asked, and when Clover glanced up at her she looked surprised, as if she hadn't anticipated the question at all. Alice glanced to the side, staring out across the cafe and drumming her nails against the table. "Well..."

"You don't have to tell me," Clover said when the silence went on, but she couldn't help feeling a little disappointed in spite of her own assurance, after offering up her own reasons.

"No, it's not that I don't want to tell you. I just haven't shared this with very many people. For various reasons." She seemed to consider for another moment and then finally, she leaned forward. "The truth is, I'm trying to find out what happened to my father."

Alice didn't continue the story until after they left the cafe and any potential eavesdroppers behind. Clover was silent for the entire drive back to her apartment as Alice told her everything.

Her thoughts were a complicated jumble as she made her way up to her apartment -- a mixture of respect and admiration and guilt. She'd never met anyone like Alice before, she couldn't help but think. She almost felt pathetic in comparison.

Her thoughts drifted back to her mother as she entered her bedroom and collapsed onto her bed. It'd already been several months since they'd run away. They hadn't even said goodbye before they'd taken off -- just left a note on the counter for her to find in the morning before disappearing in the middle of the night. Guilt gnawed at her as she rolled onto her side, pulling out her cellphone and staring at it. They'd already decided before leaving that they couldn't contact her afterwards. They just couldn't take the risk that she would find them. And they weren't willing to put up with bodyguards or any of that anymore. The freedom of the last few months had been more of a relief than she ever could have imagined.

But that didn't mean she didn't miss her, or wonder sometimes if she'd made the right choice -- not just running away, but even deciding to join SOIS. Things had been going well so far, but she hadn't even really gotten into the real aspects of her job yet. Who knew what could happen?

But it wasn't just her mom she was thinking of as she continued to stare at her phone.

_"I swore to myself I'd do anything to find out what happened to my father. I won't let them get away with what they did to my family."_

She hadn't really considered what kind of answer she would have gotten when she'd asked the question -- it had just been a result of simple curiosity. She hadn't expected the story Alice had told her at all.

She chewed her lip absently, fingers hovering over the buttons -- but Alice had dropped her off not ten minutes ago, and they'd see each other tomorrow at work anyway. And they'd been seeing more and more of each other recently anyway. If she sought Alice out any more than she already did she'd probably start to look clingy or something.

She sighed, dropping her phone on the bed and wandering back out to the front room to find her brother still practicing with his harp. She dropped herself onto a chair and rested her head against her arms as she listened.

"That's a new song, isn't it?" she asked when he finished playing.

"In a way. I'm reworking one of my earlier ones."

"Well, it sounds way better now."

He smiled. "I should hope so."

Light moved his harp to the side, signaling he was done with it for the night, but Clover still hesitated for a second before speaking again.

"You know..." she started finally. "When this is all over... we should probably go back home some time."

Light paused for a moment, seemingly caught by surprise. "You want to?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, not just to see Mom, but... just so that she doesn't spend forever thinking something horrible might have happened to us again, you know?"

"You're right," Light said. "... But you know that if we do, she'll probably never let us out of her sight again, right?"

Clover sighed a little -- a cross between exasperation and amusement. "You didn't have to remind me."

\---

The next week, she received an assignment. An _actual_ assignment. Infiltration. 

She felt a mixture of excitement and trepidation at the thought of it. Finally, all those months of training might actually amount to something. 

On the other hand, she was going to be sneaking into a supposed terrorist-owned facility. She'd probably have to be crazy not to be at least a little nervous. And she could tell her brother felt just as apprehensive about it -- or maybe even more so, considering that she was the one with the more dangerous role in this operation. 

"This is what we signed up for, remember?" she said to him while they were discussing the details of the mission. 

"Yes. Of course," he said. "But..."

"Besides," she continued, maybe trying to convince herself as much as him, "Alice is working with us on this one -- what could go wrong?" 

For some reason, his frown only deepened at those words -- but whatever it was that had bothered him about them, he didn't choose to elaborate. "Just be careful." 

"Well, duh. I'm not going to just run in there and go, 'I'm a spy!' you know?" 

"I should hope not," another voice said from behind them, and she whirled around to find Alice walking towards them. Clover found herself abruptly flustered for some reason. "Are you ready for this?" 

"Yep," she managed, taking a second to find her voice. "Well... I hope so anyway..." 

"Don't worry. You'll do fine," Alice said, and Clover nodded. She could do this. 

"This is the opportunity we've been waiting for," Alice continued, and a steely note crept into her voice as she spoke. Light must have noticed it too, Clover thought, noticing how the smile slipped off his face. "This mission might even give us some insight into a way to shut down the Myrmidons completely. We can't let this mission be a failure." 

"It'll be fine," Clover said, and tried to gather herself some of that confidence and determination Alice always had.

\---

They couldn't have been more wrong.

Terror struck her the moment a hand closed tight around her upper arm, and it was all she could do to try to concentrate hard enough to use her powers to contact her brother while she was dragged down to a room in the basement and tied to a chair.

She tried to remember her training -- they'd taught her how to escape situations like this. But her mind had gone completely blank.

All she could think at that moment was, _I'm going to die_.

It didn't seem to matter how many potentially deadly situations she'd been in over the course of her life -- the fear of it hadn't lessened at all.

She struggled to escape her bonds once she'd been left alone, but her hands were shaking too much, her entire body trembling from panic. So much so that she didn't immediately notice what was lying in front of her on the ground, several feet away. When she finally did, she froze entirely. She could hardly breathe.

Apparently, seeing dead bodies didn't get easier either.

 _Light... Alice... help me!_ She clenched her eyes shut. _Please... anyone..._

And then suddenly there were footsteps approaching her. Her eyes snapped open, but she couldn't bring herself to lift her head. She saw him come to a stop next to her, and a hand reached down towards her face. She flinched back, but he caught her by the chin, lifting her face until all she could see was the body.

"Consider this a warning. You'll leave us alone from now on unless you want to end up just like him. Make sure to let your superiors know this as well."

He let go of her, and she jerked her head up to try and catch a glimpse of his face, only to find it covered by a mask.

And then she was left alone.

 

She'd never felt more relieved in her life than when the door opened and she looked up to see Alice standing there.

And she'd never felt more helpless either.

"Clover!" Alice rushed over to her immediately, but froze in her tracks as she caught sight of the body in her path. A stunned look passed over her face, and for a moment she moved towards the body with shaking steps, as though in a trance. She seemed to recover from the shock just as quickly however, and steeled herself, turning away and continuing to Clover's side instead. She rested one of her hands gently on Clover's shoulder when she reached her and lifted the other up to brush Clover's hair out of her eyes, crouching down to look at her face. "Clover -- are you all right? Speak to me."

"Alice... I'm sorry..." She could barely hear her own voice.

"It's all right," Alice said softly, squeezing her shoulder lightly before moving to untie her. "You're safe now, okay?"

She couldn't bring herself to say anything in response. Alice's kindness was almost worse than if she'd reprimanded her instead. Clover didn't think she could have felt any worse, and then Alice lifted her into her arms and she immediately burst into tears. And she couldn't stop it once it'd started, all the fear and anxiety she'd felt up to moment bursting out of her all at once. She buried her face against Alice's shoulder.

Alice didn't say anything as she carried her all the way up the stairs and out the front door, and still didn't leave her side once even after they were back outside, for as long as it took her to calm back down. Alice left one hand resting on Clover's shoulder even when calling in to report the situation back to headquarters.

Clover couldn't help but feel more like a child than she had in years, maybe her whole life, especially in contrast with Alice's utter patience and calm. Alice's words seemed to filter through to her as if from far away, even though she was still right next to her.

"... The building's already been completely evacuated. But there was a body left behind. The identity..." Alice barely even paused. "Most likely... my own father."

Clover couldn't hold back her gasp, but she waited until Alice finished her report and ended the call before speaking. It took nearly that long for her to get her own voice back in order to speak at all. "That was... your..."

Alice was silent for a moment, eyes closed. "I haven't seen him in many years... but... yes. I'm sure it's him."

"I... I'm so sorry -- I..."

"Don't," Alice said softly, raising a hand to wipe away the new tears that had started to slide down Clover's face. "I... expected I might have to face this eventually. This is something I've prepared myself for for a long time. I'd hoped maybe I'd make it in time, but..." She shook her head, lowering her eyes. "Knowing is enough."

Clover's gaze drifted to the ground.

"And in any case... I should be the one apologizing to you."

"... Huh?"

"This entire situation was my fault. I was so determined to find out what happened to my father that I didn't even notice we were walking straight into a trap. I let my personal feelings influence my judgement, and I put you in danger as a result." She wrapped her arms around Clover's shoulders, drawing her into a hug. "I'm so sorry."

Clover froze in her arms, eyes wide. After a second of bewilderment, she raised her own arms to press her hands against Alice's back. She had no idea what else to say or do, so she stayed silent. There wasn't anything else that needed to be said, she thought.

\---

She and Alice didn't see each other for several days following their failed mission. The shame and disappointment over their failure hovered over her for each of those days, until Alice suddenly appeared before her just over a week later with a smile on her face that eased some of the anxiety that had been starting to build inside her chest. 

"That last mission may not have been as much of a failure as we'd expected," she said immediately. 

That was all it took. And then they spent the entirety of the next several weeks researching and planning their next -- and maybe even _last_ \-- mission. 

"This time -- this time for sure," Alice said as they went over their plans for a final time, looking for any possible oversight, anything they could anticipate that might potentially go wrong. 

Clover reached over and grasped Alice's hand. "We'll definitely get them this time. We'll avenge your dad."

She didn't know what had compelled her to grab Alice's hand, and she noticed her own action too late to abort it. She was about to awkwardly draw back when Alice's fingers wrapped around her own, holding them in place. "Thank you, Clover."

Alice's smile was as warm as her fingers, she noticed, and couldn't bring herself to look away. She didn't realize they were staring at each other until she registered just how much closer Alice's face seemed than before. She almost pulled away, then changed her mind and decided to lean forward instead, trying to gather her courage to actually do so, when a sudden terrifyingly familiar sound caught her attention. When she jerked around towards it, she only had a second to glimpse the familiar gas mask and white smoke before her vision wavered and everything went dark.


End file.
